An Unexpected Gift

Time certainly flies. I’ve wanted to write this post for over a week now, but the days simply kept getting away from me. So, finally I have found the time to write about the awesome day that I was baptized in the name of The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. – a day when our Heavenly Father presented me with yet another unexpected gift.

Leading up to my baptism I really didn’t know what to expect. I knew that through baptism I was making the choice as an adult to publicly proclaim my decision to be a follower of Jesus. I viewed the day as an act of obedience to God. It was a “step” along my journey that would show God, my friends and my family just how tightly Jesus had captured my heart. But, it proved to be so much more. And isn’t that the way it so often is with God? When we obediently follow His plan we are given so much more than we could ever have imagined.

The day began so beautifully. Loving friends of ours joined us at our church so they could spend the entire day with us- making the day feel that much more special and significant. After the service we headed out to the lake for our church BBQ and that was where the nerves began to get to me. All of a sudden it seemed like a lot of people to be sharing my testimony in front of. I started to second guess what I should say and how long I should even speak. But then a dear friend reminded me that this was my day with God; so simply share what I feel he has put on my heart.

When it came time to share our reasons for being baptized and our journey thus far with Jesus the nerves began to double up. As I listened to each testimony I also prayed. I asked God to just allow the Holy Spirit to share what needed to be shared – to let me be His hands and feet and to give me the courage to speak what He wanted spoken. So, I shared my testimony as fully as I could; trying my very best to describe the loving stepping-stones God placed at my feet that led my heart and soul home to Him. I was the last speaker and the only “new” Christian. I followed several youth whom had been born into Christian homes and were taking the public step of baptism to show their desire to live out the faith their parents had gifted them with. Comparatively, my testimony was so much longer, my path so much windier. But, my testimony also has the awesome power of showing the greatness of God. It is able to show how He is truly at work in this world searching for His lost sheep. It shows how anyone willing to accept the gift of the gospel can truly be transformed.

Once I was finished sharing my testimony, our Pastor prayed for me and asked my friends and family to lay their hands upon me. For me this was one of the greatest moments. It brought back painful memories of how in my darkest moment I felt completely alone and abandoned; I felt as if I had no one to call a friend. But because of the love and faithfulness and greatness of our God the hands of ten different families placed their hands upon me! Yes, since accepting Jesus into my life I have been blessed with some of the most wonderful friendships – all of which are with God-loving people. What can I say? God is awesome!

We then moved towards the lake and it was then that I got to experience the greatest of all the moments. As our pastor laid me back into the water and then lifted me up I was filled with a joy that is pretty much indescribable. It was completely euphoric! I can honestly say that I did not expect such an overwhelming feeling.  I expected to feel good, to feel complete, to feel happy. But that feeling of euphoria was a complete and unexpected gift from God. It was as if the joy of God was sent directly through my body. And the truth of the matter is that it indeed was His joy that was shining through me. For the Holy Spirit, which is within me, has emotions - one of which is joy. For Luke writes, “At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit” (Luke 10:21) and so, like Jesus, it was the joy of the Holy Spirit that filled me. I could completely sense that God was beaming as He looked down upon me that day. I love that the video recording so beautifully captures the joy the filled me.

I had so much trouble falling asleep that night. That joy was still pumping through my veins long past when I typically would be sound asleep. I could hear God saying to me, “Let’s just enjoy this day a little longer and remember those incredible moments together a few more times.” So that night I drifted off to sleep with all the wonderful images of the day passing through my mind and my Savior close beside me smiling.

What follows is the testimony I shared with those in attendance at the lake. It is not my complete testimony, but it shares what I refer to as the “stepping-stones” the led me to Jesus. So if you were not there that day, here is what I spoke (more or less):

I was not raised in a Christian home. It was a definitely a journey that would bring me to Jesus and to this very moment. God and I met at a point in my life where I was simply “craving more”. I was craving more of something, but I just couldn’t identify what “it” was. I thought perhaps I could find it through shoes, clothes, wine, friends, adventures or toys, but honestly nothing was filling that craving and the hole seemed to be getting bigger.

Eventually, I found myself in the hospital and it was there that God began to lay the stepping-stones that would lead me to His arms. As I look back these are some of the stepping-stones He lovingly laid along my path:

First, while visiting me in the hospital my friend, Julie, prayed with me and one sentence struck the center of my heart. She spoke, "Please God heal her. You know her better than anyone, for You created her". Now I was not really open to God at this point and definitely did not see Him as a Healer, but when we hear the truth, our hearts listen! Secondly, God painfully ended a friendship that I had become so dependent upon. God knew that I would not go to Him if that friend remained in my life. It would take a long time for me to realize that truth, but there was simply no way I would reach out to God while I was still tied to that friend. Thirdly, the only radio station I could get in my hospital room was Praise 106.5, and the more I listened, the more I believed. And I’m pretty sure they played, “Jesus Saves” three times and hour. And because God loves details, “Jesus Saves” was the first song we sang when we came to our church. Fourth, each day as I wandered the halls of the hospital I would pass the "sacred room" and each day I glanced at it a little longer. Fifth, I knew I had a lot of people praying for me and that began to mean something to my heart. Finally, I began to realize that the craving for more was not going to be found on this earth. My soul was simply crying out for its Creator.

So one evening I felt an unexplainable push to get out of my hospital bed and walk towards that “sacred room”. I sat down on a chair and for several minutes I was completely silent. I then spoke the Lords Prayer (which hung on my bedroom wall in my secular household – a gift from a neighbor) and then I began pouring my heart out to God. I told Him how much I needed Him, how I knew deep in my soul that He knew me for He created me, I admitted that I was a sinner and that I was so incredibly sorry for the choices I had made for they had brought me such pain, I told Him that I believed that Jesus Christ was His Son and I thanked Him for sending Him into this world and for Him dying on the cross, I told Him that I wanted Jesus in my life forever and I wanted to learn His ways for living.

And the truth God speaks in His Bible filled me. I instantly felt the peace I had been searching for so desperately (Psalms 29:11). I’m pretty certain I could hear the angles sing! (Luke 15:10). I could feel myself being lifted onto my Savior's shoulders (Luke 15:5). I could feel my Heavenly Father's embrace (Luke 15:20). 

The words I spoke that evening were so special, but the greatness of God is shown by the fact that I had previously never picked up a Bible, no one told me what I should say when I was ready to give my life back to Christ nor did I Google what I should say. My heart simply knew exactly how to speak to its Creator!

When I started reading the Bible, the significance of what I had spoken began to overwhelm me - I could only explain my words as being divinely given.

I still faced many of the health issues that caused me to enter the hospital. Jesus and I had a valley to walk and a mountain to climb and at times it was treacherous, but from that evening forth I truly knew that I was never alone. I now had Jesus and He would prove to be my Friend, my Light, my Rock, my Teacher, my Shepherd, my Comforter and my Deliverer every step of the way.

It has now been almost two years since I spoke those words. And the transformation God has worked in my life is simply amazing. He has brought into my life the most incredible and knowledgeable doctors. He has filled my life with God-loving women as friends. He has given me patience beyond my wildest dreams. He has filled me with hope. But most of all He has given me Him – His constant, never changing, always loving, grace-filled love. I now crave my Savior and He is always my perfect Portion.