Recently I've been thinking about what I have learned about God through my journey so far. There are certain attributes of God that I feel I know better than others. There are parts of His heart that have been revealed to me and others that will be revealed when He knows I am ready.
Through the Bible, God paints a beautiful portrait of Himself - He is Almighty, the Maker, the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit. He is Ruler, King and Lord. He is all-powerful, all-knowing, and everywhere. He is eternal, sovereign, constant, emotional, faithful, righteous, holy, jealous and loving. He is our creator, healer, and savior. He is the one and only God. To read these things and know they are true is a gift in and of itself, but when we walk a road and God reveals certain qualities of Himself to us personally, it is completely awesome!
Our journey with God is a lifetime journey of worship and intimacy. With each step there is a deepening understanding of each of His attributes. For it is our journey on this earth that prepares our hearts for the day He calls us home, so our hearts will know Him well. God always works for our good. In times of prosperity He reveals and develops our gratitude; in mediocrity, our contentment; in misfortune, our submission; in darkness, and at all times, our trust and obedience in Him. During each of those times we, as individuals, will connect to a different aspect of God.
Since I came to the Lord at such a dark and difficult time, I find that I feel most connected to Him when I feel lost, when I don't know what to do. Because Jesus has walked with me from such a dark and scary valley to the top of a mountain, I feel that my trust and obedience is most developed (but by no means perfected). God gave me so many examples of how He is all-powerful, all-knowing, constant, faithful, loving and healing. When I felt weak He showed my His strength. When I thought I knew better He showed me that He knew better. When I felt forgotten He showed me His consistency and faithfulness. When I felt worthless He showed me His love. When I felt untreatable he showed me His healing hands. Knowing the light God can bring to darkness when we simply trust and obey Him is such an incredible gift. And since this is how I first met Him, I am blessed that I will always be able to rely on this experience to bring forth that trust and obedience when I face new times of darkness or even when I face times of prosperity, mediocrity or misfortune.
I love that trust and obedience is how God first began grooming me for the Kingdom. I rarely will pray for something specific, but will always ask for "His will to be done". That simple line brings such contentment to my heart and soul; it relieves anxiety better than any medication. His will is always right, always good, always perfect - even if it makes no sense to me at the time.
I can now feel gratitude being cultivated. Oddly, it was somewhat of an uncomfortable transition to go from constantly praying for something to change - in any way God saw fit - to praising Him and thanking Him for the changes He chose to make in my life. I remember the day when I was writing in my prayer journal and I had nothing specific to ask of my Father, but could only give praise and gratitude to Him. I now see this path of writing as God further developing my gratitude. Giving me an outlet to share His greatness with others.
The most exciting part is that God has so many facets to His being, that with each day, with each celebration, each struggle, each everyday moment, each upset, each mountain and each valley I will grow closer to my God. My soul will feel a contentment that is only possible when it is touched by its Creator.
Everyday I can ask God to reveal His heart to me!
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