"Life is good, love is sweet, and time seems like it'll last forever. But it won't. It never does." Karen Kingsbury.
At first those words sting - I so want life to stay good and sweet and this moment to last forever. At times I feel that if I just stomp my feet, clench my fists and hold my breath I will forever remain on this beautiful mountain top. Never slipping, never entering another valley. I'm willing to acknowledge all that I gained from my walk in the valley and praise God for His goodness, but honestly I don't want to go back into that valley or any other valley for that matter. I want my mountain top!
God's Word promises us a lot of things, but two things really stick out for me today. The first promise, that by accepting Jesus as the Son of God we are saved from death, is a promise, not surprisingly, that sits quite comfortably with me. Yet, the second promise, the promise that each of us will face troubles, hardships and tribulations in this world, is a promise that pretty much makes me want to throw a good-old temper tantrum.
I want to cry out to God, begging Him to keep the troubles, hardships and tribulations away from me and just let me live this good and sweet life. Despite knowing first-hand, "that for those who love God all things work together for good" (Romans 8:28). I still hate the thought that I will face new pain, sorrow and grief in the future, even if it does bring about good things. However, when I tuck James 1:2-4 into my heart I feel comfort, "count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." Simply knowing that God has a plan for my life and is working good things through me does bring me peace.
This past Sunday at church we concluded our church-wide series in which we studied Jesus' teachings during the Sermon on the Mount. This week looked at Matthew 7:24-27 where Jesus compares the wise man who built his house on the rock and the foolish man who built his house on the sand. Both men face the same rain, winds and floods - troubles, hardships and tribulations - but only the house built by the wise man remains standing. It was his foundation - his decision to listen to Jesus and follow His plan for his life - that made the difference.
There are so many Sundays that I sit in church and wonder if our pastor is speaking directly to me. For the past couple of weeks I have been so clearly hearing God telling me that I need to use this time in my healing process to cultivate good habits - to make sure my house is built on solid rock. God has clearly laid out a plan for me that keeps me mentally healthy. I know I need to read and study the Bible daily, pray daily, take my medications, workout, keep the house tidy, play with my kids, spend time with my husband and connect with friends. And yet, there are days when I think I can do things my way or that something else is more important and should take priority. At best it works for a couple of days, but most of the time I crumble very quickly. But when I follow God's plan I feel strong and secure - I feel healthy.
Yesterday, my foundation got a good inspection. I hadn't been working out regularly, I let skiing and a birthday party take over my bible and prayer time, the house was looking similar to a disaster zone and I wasn't making room in my schedule for quality time with my family. And then to top it all off I forgot to take my morning medication!
By the time my husband got home at 4:30 I was a wreck. My mood was so low that I could barely speak. Everything that did come out of my mouth was negative. My body physically ached. And all I wanted was to be left alone and mope in my own sadness. I had actually forgotten the true painfulness of depression. Feeling so low, so moody, so irritable is such a painful experience. My mind instantly went to thinking, "Oh here is the fall from the mountain. I knew this would happen. I'm back to being depressed. I'm incapable of staying healthy, so what's the point." With depression, your very own mind is your greatest enemy - not your medications, situation, hormones or chemicals. Those thoughts, if I had let them, could have easily won, easily become my reality.
But that is where my foundation passed the test! I did escape to my bedroom - not to mope, but rather to talk with my Creator. I reached for His loving hands and prayed for His help in weathering this storm. During our talk I could hear God saying, "Go back to our plan, you know your priorities so live them everyday. Remember I will never leave you nor forsake you." Oh the comfort and peace His voice brings to my soul.
So I went to bed and made sure I set my alarm so I would have enough time to shower, eat breakfast, clean the kitchen and workout before taking my daughter to school. Once I got back home I reached for my Bible and then prayed. I connected with a friend while my son played at our church play group. And I have plans to connect with my kids and husband this afternoon and evening. My priorities are aligned with my heart - with God's plan. Because of the foundation I have built with Jesus, I was able to weather the storm of one bad day. It did not destroy me like it could so easily have done. But instead, I awoke this morning feeling healthy and ready to face the day - God had breathed new life into my tired body. No my house did not crumble, for it is not built on sand.
I also know that with each bible verse I read, each scripture I memorize, each sermon I listen to, each prayer I speak and each answer I receive I am gaining wisdom regarding how God intends me to live my life. And when I focus on implementing that wisdom my foundation can only become stronger, the rock that my house is built upon actually gets harder. And that is the gift of faith!
No comments:
Post a Comment